ANGER MANAGEMENT: Learning to Control your Anger before it Controls You
Anger is a normal and healthy emotion- but can cause a negative impact on health and relationships with people if not expressed in a positive way.
10 TIPS TO TAME YOUR TEMPER
1. Think before you Speak
Anger can make you say words you will regret later when you are calm. You’ve heard this saying ‘do not speak or make decisions when you are angry’. This is because when you are angry, you are not in your right state of mind. So if you must speak, try to think of what you are going to say first.
2. Once you are calm, speak without trying to control others:
to suppress your frustration, it is advisable to speak logically to whoever might have wronged you just like the way you will want them to approach you. Speaking with care will help to eliminate any form of arguments that may arise again. Also, will keep you from getting angry at the situation.
3. Learn to Exercise often:
exercising is a simple and effective way to relief stress. It can be work-stress, family stress and so on. Taking the weekends to exercise or early morning jogs will keep you active through the day and also will help relief stress, thereby reducing your chances of getting angry negatively.
4. Work on resolving what made you angry instead of focusing on the situation:
this is also a way to not let your temper escalate into a negative outcome. Once you learn to focus on resolving issues instead of dwelling on your anger, it will help move you closer to being at peace with your mind and your relationship with others.
5. Put it in mind that anger if not expressed in a positive way will only make the situation worse:
do you get angry when your husband doesn’t help with house chores? Or when your friends do not give you a notice before coming to spend the weekend? This can be solved if you put in mind that you shouldn’t get angry because anger won’t change the situation. Instead talk to them reasonably and they will understand without the conversation turning into a fight.
6. Give yourself Breaks or Time-out:
you do not have to work or be busy every minute. You have to give yourself breaks during the cause of each day. You are human so you need short breaks to rest or think or have a quiet time. This will help keep you energized for the remaining activities of the day. So there would not be unnecessary outburst of emotions.
7. Learn to make use of “I” statements: this is a very important tip in controlling your temper. Using “I” statements will help you to avoid placing blames. For example ‘I’m upset you didn’t offer to help me with putting the kids to bed, or I’m upset that I do almost all the chores at home’ instead of ‘you never put the kids to bed, or you never do any chores at home’. The way we express in words our intentions go a long way in building your relationships with people.
8. Learn to forgive and move-on without bringing back past occurrences:
this is not only good in keeping your emotion in-check but also a medicine to your soul. Keeping grudges or inablility to forgive people will only increase the negativity in you and a constant anger. Also you should not bring back past cases if truly you have forgiven someone. Forgiveness heals the mind and people that forgive others their wrongs are not easily angered.
9. Look for a habit or skill that can help relax you when you are angry: some people listen to songs to calm them, Some take deep breaths, some take something sweet, or repeat a line that can calm them. Go with anything that works for you so far it doesn’t endanger your life or the life of others around you
10. Know when to seek help or assistance: if you have tried all the above and you still are not able to tame your anger, you should seek for help medically.
Anger that can’t be controlled is not good for your health, whether mentally or physically. Anger if not tamed show a lack of self-control.