UNHAPPY MARRIAGE: A HELL ON EARTH
It is a very sad thing to see couples that fight over almost everything. It is even more sad to see them wish they never got married. Then you start to wonder how they got to that point with someone they claimed they loved. Maybe that is what it is then-just a claim.
Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured or persevered. Getting married to the wrong person and staying married is the worst feeling on earth. It’s like living in a hell you created for yourself. lt is giving yourself a life sentence of pain. Marriage is built on love but only love can’t keep a marriage. Let’s look at this little example:
Yvonne and Joshua had been dating for 5 years before they decided to get married. Yvonne was very much in love with Joshua but she was also not sure about marriage as Joshua was a man who easily get annoyed and had slapped her several times during the cause of their five years together. “After all he would change, he is always very sorry whenever we have a fight” was what she told herself. They got married and all the love she had for me started to fade as he would beat her up over almost any mistake. What she thought would be a lifetime of love became dreadful and each day brought more pain than the last. She got pregnant once but also lost the child in a miscarriage which the Doctor told her was due to mental stress. According to Yvonne, her husband was always remorseful after every fight but she couldn’t endure it anymore. Their marriage wasn’t up to two years when she asked for a divorce. which she had but a large part of her was already very much lost with her marriage. Divorce is not always the best choice but that’s what people run towards as they believe it will save them from the nightmare their partner brings. The same partner they once were head over heels for. This should tell you there is a very thin line between hate and love. So it is beneficiary to not rush into marriage if you are not ready.
It is better to get married late and marry right that get married early and marry wrong.
WHAT MARRIAGE ENTAILS
many people do not know what marriage really entails before saying ‘I Do’.
1. Love: the foundation of marriage is built on love. Love is an ability to see people beyond their flaws. Love is sacrifice. Being able to go the extra mile for someone. Without love, Marriage will fail.
2. Commitment: this is a continuous choice to love and support your partner in every way. Marriage isn’t a bed of roses and you may not feel like having a roommate all the time but you already made a choice for that roommate when you got married. So you have to stay committed and supportive.
3.Responsibility: never settle for someone who isn’t responsible. Responsible people make up plans for their family, do house chores, pay the bills, etc. A responsible partner will share the marriage burdens with you. This will keep marriage alive and sweet.
4 Faithfulness: Marriage is choosing to let a particular person invade your space all your life. No third party, no affairs, no act that will make your partner sad. It is choosing one person and staying faithful to one.
5. Communication: the major key point is communication. Couples that do not communicate with each other will communicate with outsiders. This is one sure thing that kills marriage. Communication is key.
6.Sex: marriage is to be enjoyed sexually. You shouldn’t deprive your partner of what is his. A marriage where sexual desire is not being met is most likely to end with one partner having an affair outside marriage.
7.Spending quality time together : you shouldn’t be busy all the time. No partner should be left feeling all alone as marriage is not a one man game. Make time for outings, go on dates, weekend cruzing, enjoy staying locked at home too. No matter what it takes, find time for each other because the moments you spend together go a long way in influencing your choices when you are occupied and may not have much time for your partner. You definitely know someone out there loves you more than life itself.
8. A deliberate effort to keep marriage alive and growing: Marriages around you may crumble and fall but there must be a deliberate effort to fight for your marriage. Marriage entails a force and married couples have to make a choice to force a growth in their marriage and a choice to stay married and prepared for whatever storm may come.
SIGNS OF AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE
An unhappy marriage is simply the opposite of all marriage entails as listed above. It is the slow accumulation of annoyances, pain, bitterness, ego and miscommunication that burdens the romance.
Do not get caught up in an unhappy marriage. Many people are living in a hell they wished they never created as statistics show that 60% of married couples today are not happy. Marriage isn’t dating. When you date, mosttimes you are sure you can leave anytime without losing much but marriage takes more than energy from you. It is beautiful to see couples that understand each other. So marry someone that understands you, someone you are at least sure will give you a peace of mind.